They Call Me Wonderland!
by zombiekyller
Summary: Her clothes were strange. Her hat was strange. Everything about her was strange. Yet somehow, she fit in just perfectly. RussiaXOC. CanadaXOC. Only continued for good reviews. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

"Attack!" a man with soft blonde hair and gorgeous violet eyes ordered. He was clutching a pipe faucet, knuckles white with anticipation. A few other men charged foreword, weapons poised towards the sun. One of them slowed down almost immediately before switching his gun for a crudely crafted white flag. He dropped to the ground and started bawling. The faucet holding man snorted, how could someone not enjoy war?

"Hot dog! How could you not protect me?" another man with glasses whined. He was slapping someone with a hunk of meat wrapped in bread and covered with mustard. After being thwarted by the other men he resorted to shoving the hot dog down his throat and pulling cracking open a bottle of cola. He smashed it open on the purple eyed man's head on accident, not realizing who it was.

"Russia!" someone cried. Russia dropped to his knees but quickly collected himself and went charging at his attacker. However, instead of seeing a handsome blonde boy with glasses nervously waving a broken bottle around, a young woman stood directly in Russia's line of fire.

"Hi!" the girl piped, waving frantically. She was short, but not stout. Her hair was stark black and puffy, covered with a crookedly placed top hat. '10/6' was scribbled on a chunk of paper and tucked in golden band of her cap. She wore a blue and gold waistcoat which sat over a fluffy white dress. A pair of knee-length black boots laced with bright red ribbon peeked over a set of purple and pink striped stockings. Her smile was innocent and child-like, as if she had never grown up. Russia tried to stop, but he was already in mid-swing. A split second later, the girl was sprawled out on grass with a stream of scarlet blood trickling from the corner of her mouth. She lifted up her head, her big blue eyes widening just barely before fluttering shut. Her head flopped limply to the ground with a loud thunking noise.

"Whossat?" the glasses wearing boy mumbled over a mouthful of potato chips. "Oh my god! Russia you totally killed her!"

"I accidentally hit her..." Russia corrected softly.

"Well... As long as she's unconscious..." a man in a big purple cape cackled. He reached down, licking his lips in an extremely perverse way. Russia stuck out one hand to stop him.

"Not very good idea, France." he smiled. France shied away immediately, terrified of what would happen if he challenged Russia's words. The boy with glasses knelt down and began poking her, forcefully, with a twig. Another man, this one with bushy eyebrows and green eyes, pulled the girl away and picked her up.

"She's been hurt rather badly, I vouch we take her to a hospital." he said in a thick British accent. The man brushed the hair off her forehead gingerly and marched foreword. Each one of them seemed to have forgotten about the battle at hand, leaving the white flag waving boy to be dragged away by his allies. It was strange how quickly their quarrel had ended, but it wasn't the first time that had happened. Though it certainly was the first time they'd found such an extravagantly dressed woman. Britain started to huff and puff, hardly able to continue after a moment or two. Russia kindly took the girl off his hands.

"Allow me." he smiled, lifting her up like she was no more than a feather.

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><p>It's a little short and kind of rough, but hang in. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

She was splayed out on the hospital bed. Her face buried in the hypo-allergenic pillow, one hand gripping the rough plastic railing with all its might. Somehow, she'd managed to get her foot tangled in the lump of wires beneath her and the big hospital gown they'd wrapped her in was hanging from the light fixture. There was a singular sunflower next to her bed, propped up in a clean white vase. The kindly man with violet eyes had brought it as a way to make up for cracking her skull open with a pipe. He felt extremely guilty about it because the girl had never wronged him in any way, though it wasn't bad to establish fear on a first impression. Russia didn't even know who she was. Though he was eager to find out. There was a good deal of mystery surrounding her at the moment. She'd just sort of appeared yesterday, right in front of America who was glad it had been her and not him who'd gotten hurt. America had even suggested she was a superhero who'd come down from another planet just to save him. The purple eyed man rapped twice on the door to the young woman's hospital room, walking in after a moment of silence. Russia tapped her one the shoulder to see if she was simply sleeping. She sat straight up, flipping around in one smooth motion.

"Where..." she said, grasping at her chest. "Is my watch?" the girl bolted out of bed as fast as she could. She tore through a small pile of clothing that had been placed delicately beside the sunflower. Nothing. She dropped to her knees, breathing heavily and clawing at the table. The girl burst into a fit of tears. Salty warmth dripped down her cheeks and dribbled onto the floor. Someone clasped their hands down on her shoulders, surrounding her in something warm and soft.

"That's better, da?" Russia smiled sweetly. The girl curled up into the fetal position, enveloped by Russia's giant coat. She wailed so loudly he was tempted to knock her out again.

"M-my w-watch... I-I won't know i-if I'm l-late o-or n-n-n-not..." she bawled. Russia wasn't quite sure what to do. He'd never helped someone crying before. Were you supposed to hug them or something? Giving her his coat hadn't seemed to help much. She shoved her thumb in her mouth and wrapped one arm around Russia's leg. He jerked away sharply, thinking perhaps she was going to attack him. But all she did was shed a river of tears at his feet. Russia gave her a pat on the head, jumping back when she let out a howl of pain. He momentarily forgot he'd slammed a pipe into her face only a day before.

"Excuse me, you'll need to quiet down in here." a pretty blonde nurse said. Russia glanced up at her, looking endlessly confused. The nurse reached into a small drawer and pulled out a copper pocket watch. "We put valuables in these drawers so people can't steal them as easily. Now please quiet down..."

"My watch!" the girl shouted. She scrambled over and grabbed it off the bed after the nurse had left. Her tears stopped the instant the watch was cupped in her hand. She quickly abandon her depression, trading it in for a big care-free smile. "Hi!"

"A-are you alright...?" Russia asked nervously. The last thing he wanted was to throw her into another bout of hysterics. She fixed Russia's coat so it didn't reveal her undergarments and flapped her arms around.

"Just fine! Thanks for the coat, by the way!" the girl chimed, rubbing her beloved pocket watch against her cheek. She clapped her hands together and looked around. Russia was surprised by the fact she wasn't asking him anything. It was almost like she just didn't care. And, to be honest, she really didn't. The girl was just happy to be alive after yesterday.

"Oh, no problem." Russia scratched the back of his head with a slight smile.

"So... What is this place? I've never been in one of these before!" she said, staring off into space. The girl crawled along the floor, crouching down under the bed and poking at power outlets. "It's fun here!"

"This is a hospit-" Russia began.

"Why's it smell so weird?" the girl interrupted. She fixed her hat happily, not bothering to pull her hands out of the sleeves.

"I don't kn-" he said, hoping not to get cut off again. The girl put her hand over Russia's mouth to stop him. He let out a little grumble of annoyance.

"Wait, wait, wait! I'm getting carried away! First things third, who are you?" she inquired, poking a fabric covered finger into his chest.

"Oh... I'm Ivan Braginski, but you may call me Russia." he remarked, holding out his hand. Russia was extremely confused by the girl's choppiness and he found himself hoping her interruptions weren't a habit. The girl jerked him closer, tugging his hand up to her face. She patted it with an innocent smile.

"I see happiness in your future! Lots of love! Lots of love!" she piped. Russia blinked at her a few times, confused as to what had just happened. The girl grabbed one of her stripy stockings off the floor and wrapped it around her neck. "Now I have a scarf too! Oh! I almost forgot!"

"Forgot what?" Russia asked, watching her bounce around the room trying to put her boots back on.

"Well, here I am asking you to introduce yourself, when I haven't said a thing! Wouldn't the rabbit kill me? Ha!" she slapped her own wrist a few times. Russia started to wonder if maybe he'd hit the girl too hard. She didn't seem to be in her right mind. And what was that about a rabbit? He started wondering if saving her was the wrong choice.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Russia said.

"Better than ever! So anyway, as I was saying..." she left off slowly. "My name is Caroline Lewis! But they call me Wonderland!"

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><p>Also a short chapter, my apologies. I just don't want to start writing a ton if people don't enjoy the story. Suggestions welcome and reviews wanted! Enjoy!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

"Eh... Um... Rus- No... I can handle... I can handle this myself..." Wonderland grumbled, wriggling her legs around helplessly. It appeared that she had gotten herself stuck in the trashcan when Russia left to pay the hospital bill. Wonderland never did well when she was alone. She always ended up burning something down, wrecking an entire era, or getting stuck in something. Luckily, this time she'd only gotten stuck. The last time she was left alone she'd managed to set fire to a lake and all it's fishy residents, which wasn't even entirely possible. But for her, anything was possible. One time she'd played a round of poker and been dealt a royal flush on every hand. The girl put both hands on the tile flooring and tried to push her thin body up and out of the trash bin. She was once again unsuccessful. Wonderland snorted, gritting her teeth. With one big heave she threw herself out of the can, landing lightly on her feet. "Victory!" she cried, pumping a fist into the air.

The door suddenly swung open with a brutal amount of force. Wonderland stumbled backwards, her victory against the trashcan short lived. However, this time her entire body got stuck inside, leaving only her legs sticking out. Wonderland clawed at the thick black bag lining her prison as if it would help. Something grabbed her ankles and gingerly pulled her out of the trashcan. Russia put one arm under her knees and wrapped one around her back and waist.

"Better, da?" he smiled his signature closed eye smile.

"Yay! You saved me!" Wonderland threw both arms into air, accidentally punching one of the lights. A shower of glass and sparks rained down on both of them. Wonderland wriggled away from Russia's chest and let out an ear splitting screech of confusion. "Attack! We're under attack! Save the queen!" the girl dove under her hospital bed and covered her head with both arms.

"A-are you alright?" Russia poked his face under the cot as well. Wonderland let out a nervous giggle, glancing back and forth. She seemed anxious and scared but came out anyways.

"J-just fine..." the girl paused to dust off her hat and take a deep breath. She put on a smile before clapping her hands together. "All good!"

"Do you have a place to stay tonight?" Russia asked, hoping to change the subject. Wonderland confused him in so many ways.

"Hmm... Uh... Can't remember..." she scratched the bandage on her head and tapped her bottom lip. Nothing came to mind. Wonderland's head was so full of fog and confusion she couldn't even remember how long she'd been out of her country. Which wasn't as much of a country as it was another world. She wondered if her amnesia would go away soon or if it would linger and make her even more distraught.

"You could stay at my house if you'd like." Russia suggested. Maybe he could finally make a friend if he got to know Wonderland better. All the other countries were so terrified of him but Wonderland didn't know a thing about Russia's blood soaked past. She didn't know how unstable he was nor how mean he could be.

"You would do that? You're the nicest person I've ever met! ... I think..." she looked up at the ceiling and tapped her fingers together cutely. Russia smiled and ushered her out of the room.

About halfway down the hallway Wonderland stuck both arms out and started making flying noises.

"CRASH!" she screeched. Wonderland threw herself headfirst into the tile, giggling as she pulled her mousy figure back into a standing position. She grabbed Russia by the arm and spun around. The girl broke away, leaping into the air, landing on one foot, and sweeping into a pirouette. Her moment of grace was brutally interrupted by an untied shoelace which heaved her against the wall. Wonderland peeled away and brushed herself off with a laugh. Glancing over at Russia, she realized just how confused he probably was by her.  
>"It's fine, I like getting hurt. It lets me know I'm still alive." she smiled matter-of-factly.<p>

"You like getting hurt?" Russia inquired. He loved watching other people get slammed into walls but he'd never enjoyed it himself. At least that meant he probably didn't mind getting hit in the head as much as Russia would have expected. Though he was still trying desperately to make up for it by letting the girl stay at his house. It seemed that every time Russia had a chance at making a friend, he messed it up by scaring them or 'accidentally' causing the genocide of their people. But Wonderland may not have even been a real place, there's no way to kill off a race of people you're not sure even exist. And if she liked getting hurt... Maybe Russia could finally have a friend. Even if that friend was insane.

"It lets me know I'm still alive! And it tells me if I'm dreaming or not! That's important." Wonderland declared, smiling. Russia liked her smile; it reminded him of his own, innocent yet hiding something terrible from the world.

"Excuse me, you were in room 34, correct?" a young man in scrubs asked after tapping the girl on the shoulder.

"Depends... What happens if I was?" she replied, turning around slowly to face the scrawny boy.

"Well, when we brought you in you had some... Animals with you." he gulped. The man's tone made it rather obvious that he was terrified of animals.

"Oh! You must have my Jabberwock! And my Dormouse! Yay! Where are they?" Wonderland cheered. She bounced up and down on the balls of her feet and waited for the nervous nurse to form a reply.

"We put a-animals down in the basement in case any of the patients are allergic to them..." he gulped. "I-I can take you down-"

"No need! I saw the pretty button in the thingy!" she interrupted. Wonderland had no idea what an elevator was but it looked like fun to her. She'd been skimming through a brochure for an elderly home before getting stuck in the trashcan and there had been a picture of one under the list of amenities.

'Old people are so cute...' Wonderland thought. She had a very strange love for senior citizens, calling them adorable and giving them hugs whenever possible. Unfortunately, she hadn't seen any really old people in the hospital to talk to about the wars and such. Wonderland especially loved elders with PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder. Partly because she had the same issues and partly because it was fun to watch them freak out when a fan turned on. Wonderland was a million times more cruel and evil than she let on.

"Uh... Well... Actually, y-you need a key card to get down there." the nurse whimpered. He held up the small card attached to his scrubs and gave Wonderland and Russia nervous looks. They were both very strange. With Wonderland's top hat and odd clothing and Russia's constant smile, it was hard not to stare. Suddenly, a small hand shot out and ripped the key card off the man's chest. Wonderland turned on her heels and went clumping down the hallway towards a small silver door. Both of her arms were up in the air to express a victory that hadn't really happened.

"Thank you." Russia smiled before setting off to catch up with his new companion. She was very weird, even weirder than Ukraine and Belarus put together in fact, but Russia liked her. Wonderland had so much fun with everything that her joy seemed to envelop those around her. The girl stuck her head out of the elevator and motioned excitedly for Russia to join her.

"Isn't this thing great? It's so... Beautiful. All shiny and chrome and there's music playing from somewhere! Music! And there isn't a band or an orchestra in sight! How is that possible?" Wonderland said. She looked around in a confused manner and cocked her head to the side.

"It's the radio, and those are speakers." Russia explained. He hoped Wonderland's ignorance wasn't a result of their earlier misunderstanding.

"Hm... Radio... Speakers... I've never heard of those before! Or maybe I just don't remember them... Either way, it's very fun!" Wonderland tapped one of the little speakers and smiled. Russia frowned, he felt terrible about what had happened. At first, he hadn't known anything about an didn't have much sympathy, but as the day progressed, he was beginning to like Wonderland. Someone placed both hands on his cheeks and pulled them upwards. Wonderland was standing on the tips of her toes to reach up to Russia's massive height. She was very short, five foot one to be exact. But that didn't stop her from fixing Russia's frown in her own, rather interesting, way.

"No frowns. Only happy smiles and big grins of joy!" Wonderland ordered. She hopped up to pat Russia on the head before skipping out the door.

Gallons of hand sanitizer, hundreds of rolls of toilet paper, and what seemed to be the largest display of towels either of them had ever seen lay across the huge waist land that was the hospital's basement. Wonderland looked utterly confused by all of it, head pounding from all the new things she saw. Boxes of latex gloves and liters of liquid soap were sprawled out in every direction. There was even and entire room filled with nothing but brooms and mops.

"This place is so big..." Russia muttered under his breath. The basement of a hospital was something he'd never seen either. Both of them just sort of stood outside the elevator, staring up at the ceiling in awe. Wonderland was first to break away and start exploring. She noticed Russia was following we rated closely to make sure she didn't get into any trouble. This made her very grateful because getting stuck in something didn't sound like much fun at the moment. Wonderland took a sharp turn past the towel display and came across a small box with a few tiny holes poked in the sides and a full size dog crate. 'Mouse' was written on the box while 'Lizard Thing' was scrawled on the crate. The girl let out a squeal of excitement and dashed over as fast as she could.

"Jabberwock! Dormouse!" she cried. The girl started ripping the box apart feverishly, dropping down onto her knees.

"What is in the crate?" Russia inquired. He was secretly hoping it was a pitbull, Russia liked pitbulls. They were so ferocious yet so innocent looking, they reminded him of himself.

"Russia, I'd like you to meet Dormouse and Jabberwock." Wonderland said. She lifted her hands up to show him a very small mouse with a furry tail in a tiny red coat. The girl tucked the mouse under her hat before turning around and unlocking the crate. She pulled out an enormous, scaly, lizard with sharp teeth and huge claws. It was the single largest reptile Russia had ever laid his eyes on.

"What _is _that?" he asked.

"This is Jabberwock. He's a Komodo Dragon and, quite frankly, my best friend in the entire universe." Wonderland declared. She wrapped her arms around the lizard and let it lick her cheek with it's creepily forked tongue.


	4. Chapter 4

"Snow!" Wonderland cried, bursting out of a snowdrift. She'd decided to bury herself but had gotten very bored very quickly and abandoned her hiding spot. The girl shoved her face into the soft, powdery, ice crystals covering the ground. They met her smooth skin with a huff of chilliness, making Wonderland shiver. She wouldn't admit to anyone that she was actually freezing but it was rather obvious.

"You like snow, da?" Russia smiled, completely content to watch Wonderland roll around spastically. She really was childish; acting like every little thing was positively fabulous. But Russia didn't mind at all, in fact, he almost found it cute. He started to wonder why Belarus was never cute; she was very pretty, but never cute.

"I love snow! But it only snows once every two thousand days where I'm from. And the snow looks a bit different... its red." the girl tapped her lips and peered up at the sky.

"That's horrible..." Russia frowned. Being Russian, he didn't know how one could live without snow, even though he was eager to live somewhere warm and sunny where the sunflowers grew. The man glanced over at a small patch of soil behind his house and looked at the ground. Sunflowers really didn't do well in Russia.

"It's not too bad! That leaves lots of time for the sun and the rain! And our flowers love the sun!" Wonderland grinned. She seemed to have something positive to say about everything. The girl was a never ending spout of happiness and optimism.

"What kind of flowers grow in Wonderland?" Russia inquired. He knew the girl was probably totally insane, but he figured discussing the magical made up world she came from could help make up for their earlier incident. And, truthfully, Russia really did want to be friends with Wonderland. Crazy or not.

"We have talking flowers! There's Bob, and Tom, and Stacy, and Lacey, and Jim, and Joe, and Cary, and Darla. There are lots more but those are my favorites. Some of the flowers are total assholes..." Wonderland added the last part in a very angry way.

"Are there any talking sunflowers?" Russia said, pondering how fun it would be to have a discussion with a sunflower.

"The sunflowers are kinda douchebags... But, they're so bright and colorful, the seeds are huge! One time, I ate and entire flowers worth of seeds! I threw up afterwards, but still! It's impressive where I'm from!" Wonderland replied warmly. The girl plowed through a snowdrift on her belly before trying to bury herself again. She really was an eccentric person, always bouncing from one place to another while trying desperately to keep things exciting. Russia found himself liking her spirit more and more. Wonderland seemed to have a calming effect on his secretly pained mind. From his view, she was the happiest, most carefree, person on earth.

But, in truth, Wonderland wasn't as joyous as she appeared. She suffered from post traumatic stress disorder, which caused her to be hurled into a wartime flashback whenever someone whistled or turned on a large fan. But gunshots were the worst; they were so bad she didn't dare pick up a pistol. Whenever she heard a bullet being fired, she got clammy and nervous and then the flashback would come and instead of seeing friends, every person in the room was an enemy. She attacked everyone and everything in her path, not stopping until they were rolling in a pool of their own blood, begging for mercy. Sometimes Wonderland went on like that for days, but she normally only stayed in that terrifying state for a few minutes. And when the flashback was over, she would flee from the room in a fit of hysteric crying. Wonderland straightened her waistcoat nervously, she didn't like thinking about her problems. Her mental illness made her feel strange and different, Wonderland was deathly embarrassed of her disorder.

"That's too bad... I'd like to talk with a sunflower." Russia beamed, having decided that, yes, sunflowers would have interesting things to say. But, if they didn't, Russia could always cut off their leaves and listen to them screech, that would certainly be something fun to do.

"If I ever remember how to get back to Wonderland, I'll bring you George!" she said. The girl looked a little pale and was shivering profusely. Not from the cold, but from the thought of her war days.

"You'd do that for me?" Russia asked in disbelief. Although her promise probably wasn't sane or true, Russia liked the thought of getting something from someone not expecting another thing back. Other countries liked to kiss up to him and promise him things, but that was always out of fear or for personal gain. Wonderland was promising Russia something just because, or so he liked to think.

"Of course! You're my now official bestest friend of all time ever!" she chimed. Russia stopped in his tracks. Had she just declared their friendship? Did he finally have someone to share his house with that didn't desperately want to marry him and wasn't absolutely terrified of him? Wonderland was the first person to want his friendship without knowing about his extreme strength and hardiness. Even Germany was only friends with him because of his boss' orders and Belarus wasn't much of a friend. "Something wrong, Russia? Oh... Wait, I get it... It's okay if you don't wanna be my friend... 'Cause you don't have to be, it's your choice."

"Nyet," Russia smiled at the ground before looking up slowly. "I'd love to be Wonderland's friend."

"Really? Yay! Yay! Yay!" Wonderland cried. She started clapping and bouncing up and down as fast as she could. The girl grabbed Russia's big, masculine, hands and laced her tiny fingers in between his giant ones. "We're bestest friends! We're betest friends! We're bestest, bestest, bestest, friends!" she crooned in a very childish manner. But Russia didn't care, he had a friend now. Someone he could show the Kremlin to and hide from Belarus with, because he had a sinking feeling the small blonde girl was going to hate Wonderland the second she met her. He'd have someone to drink vodka with instead of just getting painfully drunk all by himself. Drinking alone always made Russia feel really pathetic.

"What is being bestest friends?" Russia asked when Wonderland stopped her ecstatic cheering. He wasn't quite sure what the term bestest was but he thought it sounded nice.

"It's like being friends but bestest-er! It's more than just being friends, or even being best friends. its being bestest friends!" she explained without actually explaining anything. Wonderland happened to be very talented at saying a lot without actually meaning anything. Russia looked a bit confused by this but shrugged it off, they were friends now.

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><p>Sorry for the length of this chapter, I do apologize deeply! But it seemed like a really adorable place to stop, plus, I've hardly had any time to write since school started. I beat the shit out of some girl who called me fat so I've had detention for a while… Anyways! I'm going to start making chapters a bit longer, using line breaks, and maybe even doing some first person stuff. Tell me what you think about the kawaii so far and how well you think I'm portraying the characters! Reviews and suggestions really are wanted and I'd love to get some cold, hard, constructive, criticism. Thanks for reading!<p>

Bullet holes and stitches OXOX

~Zombiekyller


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm sorry you won't get to meet the Baltics, I sent them on a grocery errand." Russia apologized kindly. He ushered his new mousy and raven haired friend inside and shut the door behind her. The second she walked in, Wonderland let out a sharp gasp and let her mouth hang open. Russia's house was monumental for someone as small as her. The ceilings seemed to rocket up over the girl's head only to arch over gracefully. Red flags embroidered with a yellow hammer and sickle alternated between horizontally striping white blue and red rectangles of fabric. In the middle of the large entryway appeared to be a fountain with a statue of the Virgin Mary peering down at the ground atop it. The ceiling had a huge window placed within it, allowing light to dapple down upon the water. Wonderland had never seen such a simple and beautiful place before. Where she came from, everything was bright colors and impossibilities, but in Russia's house, things seemed very well used and not in excess. The girl was a bit surprised by the lack of big helix shaped tubes filled with delicious candy or soda, but it's was almost as thought a house didn't need that to be beautiful. This confused Wonderland endlessly. How was it possible for something to be plain, yet also pretty? And very pretty at that! The girl's head started hurting from how hard she was thinking about this predicament.

"Fountain!" she cried after a long period of silence. It was all Wonderland could really think to say after working so hard to figure out simplistic beauty. Her mind seemed to have a daily limit of smart things she could do and say before she reverted back to her cutesy and childish self. The girl went stomping over to the carefully crafted stone fountain and clapped her hands together. "It's so pretty, Russia! Who's the lady on top?"

"That's the Virgin Mary, the sworn protectress of Russia." he remarked with his signature grin. Russia watched as Wonderland hopped up on the rim of the landmark. She put both hands straight out like she had when pretending to be a plane and rushed around the giant stone reservoir happily. The girl was so joyous all the time, so happy and sweet. Russia couldn't help but think about how adorable Wonderland looked with a silly smile on her face and her eyes closed in ecstasy. She was adorable, wasn't she? Not gorgeous, or beautiful, but cute and mousy. Belarus certainly wasn't going to like Wonderland, and especially not the fact that she and Russia were now friends. But Russia didn't care; he could finally have someone to hide from his little sister with. That would make sitting in a room being terrified far more fun for him.

"Is she a queen? There are two queens where I'm from. Well, only one that's ruling. The other was banished for being mean, because being mean is a mean thing to do!" Wonderland declared.

"No, the Virgin Mary is from the bible. She gave birth to Jesus." Russia replied.

"What's a Jesus?" the girl giggled. Jesus sounded strange to her coming from a land without any true or established religion. She had no idea what Christianity and Catholicism were. Russia opened his mouth to form a reply but before any words came out, he heard a high pitched squeal and a big splash. Wonderland had fallen in. The large blonde man rushed over, seeing his friend's top hat drifting about lazily on the surface, moving up and down with Wonderland's wake.

"Are you alright?" Russia exclaimed. He watched the minuscule girl pick herself up out of the water. She appeared to be very upset, trying to brush the water off her waistcoat angrily. But before too long, Wonderland was doubled over in laughter, her fluffy hair now softly tousled. Most people would have been extremely upset about falling in a fountain, but not her. She thought it was hilarious. Wonderland even enjoyed it! Even though her boots were waterlogged and her dress was gripping to her body, she couldn't think of any other way she'd like to be. The girl let out a final cackle and stared up at Russia with her big blue eyes.

"Just fine! Water's fun, isn't it? Especially in fountain form!" she cheered. Wonderland stood up and tried to wring some of the water out of her dress. She slid out of her boots and stockings and tugged off her waistcoat. The white gown beneath it had become embarrassingly see-through and Russia tried not to look.

"Would you like to borrow one of Belarus' dresses?" he offered.

"Is that your wife?" Wonderland inquired, perking up. She thought it would be funny if Russia had a wife. The girl sort of imagined her friend's life like and American sitcom, where every episode was exactly the last and jokes were reused to their full extent and beyond. She could picture him spewing corny lines about working at a vodka distillery and coming home to some prissy trophy wife.

"No." Russia said sharply. He didn't even want to imagine what being married to Belarus would be like. She was such a pessimist, and she was his sister, which would make things extremely awkward and gross. "Belarus is my little sister."

"Aww, she sounds adorable!" Wonderland crooned.

"She's not... She's very... Angry." Russia frowned and stared at the floor.

"Angry people are only angry because they're sad! Unless they're just naturally angry, and then they're just... Angry, I guess." she said thoughtfully. "But I won't need to borrow any of your sister's things. I'm all dry!" Wonderland pointed at her dress which had reverted back to its fluffy self. It appeared that the rest of her clothing was dry as well, not to mention her skin looked a little scaly. Russia furrowed his brow, how was that possible? It had hardly been more than a minute, five at the most, and there Wonderland was, with her big, silly, smile and perfectly dry clothing.

"How-" he began before being interrupted by his friend.

"You just have to think dry thoughts! It's super easy! You do that and not even a river of tears could keep you wet! I think about history, because it's the most boring and dry subject I've ever experienced, but some people think about politics and others about English." Wonderland took Russia's hand and ran it down the dress. "See? Dry as the driest dry could be!" Russia smiled; she was so strange but so interesting. Who ever knew you could dry yourself off by thinking about history? He was beginning to like Wonderland more and more, she was fun. Russia really like fun people, the kind that weren't like Belarus and just enjoyed life the way it was.

"Come, I'll show you the rest of my house." he placed a hand on the girl's shoulder lightly. Russia remembered how badly Italy had reacted when he'd done that, but Wonderland didn't worry at all. She beamed up at him and nodded eagerly.

"It's so pretty in here! I can't imagine what the rest of it looks like!" she cried. Russia ushered her down a small hallway, keeping his hand perched on her shoulder. He liked the way it felt to touch someone. The other countries got so terrified they could hardly look at him and even then they never looked him straight in the eye.

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><p>LATER:<p>

"What is this? It's so... Strange..." Wonderland mumbled. She was staring at a black box with a little screen in the middle, raising one eyebrow. The girl prodded it with one of her fingers, leaning in and sniffing it lightly. It was a very strange object to Wonderland as where she came from there was no technology. The thought of a car had fascinated her earlier, but this was even more amazing.

"It's a television. You've never seen one before?" Russia replied. He leant down and pressed a small button labeled 'PWR'. The screen burst to life in a flash of bright colors and loud music. A strange man speaking in rapid-fire Russian popped up. Wonderland skittered away as fast as possible, diving under a small black table and covering her head with her delicate hands. What was that thing? It was terrifying. All the random colors and loud voices coming together at once in the vortex of a foreign language. Russia suddenly felt like he'd done something horribly wrong. He took a knee and peered under the coffee table at a fear-ridden Wonderland. "Hey, it's okay. It won't hurt you."

"I-it won't?" she gulped. Wonderland craned her neck to take a second look at the television before sucking her head back beneath the table. The girl was still mortified.

"If anything tries to happens, I promise I'll protect you." Russia smiled; cheek pressed again the cold floor of his house. He thought the words sounded weird coming from him; he'd never said anything like that to anyone. Maybe it was because no one gave him a chance like Wonderland did. And part of being friends was protecting each other, or at least that's what he'd been told. Not to mention, Russia was beginning to like his new bestest friend immensely. She didn't run away from him or cower in fear when he touched her shoulder. Wonderland was so nice to him he hardly knew what to do.

"Really?" Wonderland asked her eyes wide with a combination of fear and confusion. Russia nodded kindly. He watched the tiny girl nervously crawl out from her hiding spot. The man followed behind Wonderland as she approached the television slowly. Her mind was filled with questions about the odd mechanism. New things tended to scare her a lot. She'd had no fear of the fountain but televisions were completely foreign, she had no idea if the strange man was going to attack her or not. But her main fear was that something would set off one of her war-fits. The plump man on TV screamed something loudly, waving his hands around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Wonderland immediately turned to slide back under the table but she instead slammed straight into Russia.

"It's okay, he won't hurt you." Russia reassured softly. He patted Wonderland's head and flicked the screen. "See, there's no one inside."

"But-" she began. This time it was Russia who interrupted.

"I'll be right here." he smiled.

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><p>Another fluff chapter! Hope you liked it! Next chap will be more plot oriented. Reviews wanted BADLY.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

"I apologize for being unpunctual, I got to sleep very late last night." Russia said, sliding into a large wooden chair. Dark circles lined his violet eyes and he looked dreadfully tired. Wonderland had been up most of the night, sitting in front of the television in a trance like state. It was strange that she could endure something in a completely different language for hours on end and still enjoy it. But every time Russia tried to sneak out of the room she'd tug on his scarf and glance at the television as if she still feared it. With anyone else Russia would have squeezed their hand so hard it snapped and then gone to sleep, however, he had a very hard time ignoring Wonderland. He had felt guilty after hitting her and still did and, for some unknown reason, he didn't like thinking about tearing her to shreds in brutal war. Russia pushed the thoughts from his head, she was his first friend and it was normal to want them to continue living healthily and happily. Right?

"It's okay, Russia! I managed to entertain everyone by explaining why I'm so amazing! The main reason being I'm no longer a part of Britain and his shitty food!" America, the blonde haired man with glasses, cried triumphantly.

"Shut up you wanker! I'll stuff those words up your arse!" Britain snarled from his seat around the table. He furrowed his thick brows and put on a nasty sneer.

"Hey, you two should calm down..." a man who looked nearly identical to America except for the presence of a small curly hair sprouting from his head interjected solemnly. He was desperate to be a part of the meeting. No one ever paid attention to him.

"Shut up Canada!" all the other countries grumbled, even those who hadn't been participating in the quarrel. Canada looked down at the small bear in his lap. At least he'd gotten some recognition that day. Maybe someday, Canada would be a daily conversation. The man let himself drift off to that thought, letting America and Britain alone to duke it out.

"In just two easy steps I can climb over this table and kick you in the fucking balls!" America threatened.

"At least I have a pair, you git!" Britain grit his crooked and yellowed teeth. The two lunged at each other, one hand gripping the other man's collar and one hand curled up into a vicious fist.

"You two are so childish, aru." another man, this one with long black hair tied into a loose ponytail, speculated.

"They are just releasing the brutal sexual tension that brews deep within their souls." France nodded. He took a sip from the large glass of wine that dangled from his left hand and straightened up his bright purple cape as if it were a necessary action. Russia nodded in the direction of France and China, secretly plotting on how to destroy them and take all their land for himself. And, as simple as that, another meeting of the Allies began.

"Oh! Hey! Russia! You're here too?" something shouted from above the country's heads. America instinctively dropped his grip on Britain's shirt and dove under the table.

"G-ghost! Everyone hide!" he howled. America was terrified of ghosts, but he was too daft to realize it was all the scary movies he watched.

"Oh, hello!" Russia smiled. He waved at the tiny head that popped out of the air conditioning vent. A big, matted, clump of black hair over two huge blue eyes revealed itself. It was soon followed by flashes of gold and white and eventually, a big mass of silvery green.

"Oh wait! You should be here, 'cuz I followed you!" Wonderland speculated as she dusted off her waistcoat and checked the time on her pocket watch. She liked to be punctual and though the meeting had started over thirty minutes ago, Wonderland felt right on time. The girl looked at the equally confused countries, excluding Russia, and waved. Wonderland opened her mouth to greet them but was brutally cut off by a loud sucking noise.

"No need to fear! The hero is here! I'll catch this ghost!" America thrust one fist into the air. He shoved a thin grey tube at Wonderland triumphantly. She screeched as loudly as possible when the vacuum hose began nipping at the folds of her pouffy white dress. The girl was ten times as terrified of it as she'd been when Russia had turned on the television. Wonderland's vision started to get hazy and her palms worked up a heavy sweat. She lifted her leg and planted a kick in America's stomach so sharply and mechanically she was hardly more than a blur. Her breath came quicker, bursting in and out of her lungs like she'd just ran a mile. America slammed into a wall with enough force he not only crushed the vacuum but also caused a large hole to form. Wonderland's embarrassment became instantly apparent. Her cheeks turned such a shade of scarlet red someone may have mistaken her for an apple.

"Who are-" Canada began, hiding a sick satisfaction deep within his stomach.

"They call me Wonderland! And I'm really sorry I may have killed your friend... Is he... Important?" the girl raised a thick black eyebrow and poked America with the derailed vacuum hose. His head slumped down towards his stomach and Wonderland jumped backwards skittishly. She was disappointed she'd let her disorder momentarily get the best of her.

"Not really..." most of the countries remarked. They wouldn't say that when America was conscious because he was surprisingly strong but since he wasn't, they decided to speak the truth. Wonderland noticed Britain staring at her in a confused manner. She stared back at him for a while. He looked very familiar for some reason, but Wonderland couldn't put the name to the face. She was quite overwhelmed at the moment. But after some careful consideration, a big grin spread fro ear to ear.

"Big brother Britain! Is that you?" she cooed. Wonderland discarded the vacuum hose, letting it slap America in the unconscious face, and tackled Britain in a bear hug. "It has to be you! Remember me? I missed you so much!"

"Wonderland... I wasn't sure at first, but it has to be you!" the also thick browed man squealed. He sounded vaguely effeminate but was too busy being overjoyed to care. Britain hadn't seen his little sister in years. A few days ago, when she'd been hit by Russia, he'd been almost positive it was Wonderland. But the more he thought about it, the more he denied it. Wonderland, however, was instantly accepting of the notion it may have been Britain to the point of tackling him and ignoring the man she'd just wounded. Britain wrapped his arms tightly around the girl's waist, embracing her tightly. Seeing her made him realize how much he loved her, which was an awful lot. She was more like a daughter than a sister because of her childish ways but Wonderland always got very upset when Britain treated her as such. Russia watched them, feeling a little twinge in the bottom of his stomach. He gulped, hoping he wasn't going to be sick. But it wasn't the terrible sensation one experienced when they were about to vomit, it was different. Russia frowned and placed a hand on his belly nervously. Was it jealously? No, it couldn't be. The man swallowed down a lump of confusion and anxiety and placed a fake smile back on his lips.

"I like this girl, aru. She climbed out of a vent and killed America." China, who was busily petting his adorable panda friend, nodded. Wonderland broke away from Britain's tight grip and clapped her hands together. She loved being admired by other people due to being ignored and labeled as a fake country.

"Oh," a blonde man with a strange, grungy goatee got down on one knee and grasped Wonderland's hand. "And she's so ravishing as well. No to mention she's the only other person here with any fashion sense... Bonjour, mademoiselle, I am France."

"What are you doing to my hand? Scary!" Wonderland ripped her fingers from the man's grasp and pushed Britain in her place. She didn't quite understand that getting a kiss on the hand was a good thing. In Wonderland, that meant the person was trying to figure out what they should season you with when they ate you. Realizing this, she made a dash for Russia and stooped down behind his chair. "Shhh! I'm hiding from the man with the caterpillar on his chin!" Wonderland pressed a thin finger to her lips nervously. She didn't feel much like being eaten that day, and especially not by someone with such strange facial hair. Whoever this France man was, he terrified Wonderland. To her, he was very strange. She'd never heard of someone drinking wine at a meeting before. But, come to think of it, Wonderland had never heard of a meeting before.

"Who're you? Will you feed me?" a pudgy, brown-haired, bear prodded Wonderland with one of his claws. This seemed to be almost a relief for her as she hadn't heard a single animal talk since arriving in reality. It was nice to know creatures spoke in this dimension as well. Wonderland plucked the small bear off the tiled floor by the armpits with a cutesy smile painted of her rosy cheeks. She patted its head and ran her fingers through its fur, trying to ignore an argument that had broken out between Britain and France. Her day had been quite the adventure what with clambering through an air vent and kicking America in the chest. Not to mention the idea of countries meeting to overthrow other countries was a bit hard for her to grasp. Wonderland was, to be frank, very tired. She hoped to go back to Russia's house and sleep until late that night before getting back up and bothering him at a time no one should be bothered at.

"Mr. Kumajiro! So that's where you went." A strange man with glasses and a singular curly hair pushed a plate of food at the little brown bear. Kumajiro squirmed out of Wonderland's arms, grabbed the plate, and promptly plopped in the man's lap. "Sorry if he bothered you… He forgets most of the time…"

"Shh!" Wonderland hissed and shoved her index finger up against the bear owner's lips viciously. "I'm hiding from Caterpillar Man… He's terrifying…"

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><p>More adorable Wonderland-ness! I just wanna say real quick that anyone who would want to use Wonderland for a story of their own is free to(even thought I doubt anyone will I've always dreamed of having an OC people like so mucht hey want to use it as well). Sorry if it was a little short and choppy, I just wanted to portray the way the meeting would have felt better! REVIEW PLEASE!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

"Uh... Big brother Britain, why are you drawing a pentagram in candle wax?" Wonderland cocked her head to the left. She was sitting cross legged in the center of the table, studying Britain with narrowed eyes. The heavy browed Englishman glanced up from his work for a moment. He'd decided that, in order to initiate his young sibling, some source of evil had to be called upon. The other members of the Allies had all been asked to participate, but a fight normally interrupted the festivities. Unfortunately, America wouldn't be quarreling with anyone this time around so it seemed Wonderland would have to suffer through her brother's 'magic'. He had attempted to teach her the secrets of conjuring when she was a child but, in her mind, anything that didn't involve colors, playing cards, clocks, or rabbits wouldn't be involving her.

And that was one of the reasons he disliked her, she had the attention span of a three year old on both meth and cocaine. No matter how sweet and adorable their initial meeting was, Britain would admit to caring an unbrotherly amount. Though he did enjoy her far more than America because at least she wasn't constantly raving about how terrible obesity was while stuffing her face with a colorful array of foods that would give your heart attack a stroke. Britain decided to ignore his sibling for the time being in hopes that he'd actually get to perform an initiation. He started scrawling little figures around his pentagram and chanting in some ancient language. Wonderland frowned. She stuck one of her legs out and started jabbing Britain's forehead with the toe of her boot. He turned a furious shade of red but continued trying to conjure an otherworldly being. This caused Wonderland to take issue. She knew her brother didn't like her, but he didn't have to be so blatant about it. Wonderland crawled across the table to where Russia was sitting.

He'd begun knitting during Britain's wizardly, something that surprised most of the Allies. Though none of them would say a word of it, or dare to look at the Soviet in confusion, they were all secretly more involved in watching him knit than witnessing Britain conjure a demon. The adorable appearance of their Russian friend was easily tripled by him calmly making an article of clothing for someone. Of course that did nothing but reinforce how terrifying he truly was. Canada, at this point, was decently convinced he was creating some sort of 'missile cosy' to keep his nuclear arms warm in the winter. However, the project Russia was so cautiously working on was a scarf for Wonderland. He didn't want her to catch a cold, or more likely any sort of severe pneumonia considering Russian weather, while she stayed at his house. Not to mention, he'd grown quite fond of the idea of having a friend and, after a bit of research, he'd discovered that friends give each other gifts sometimes. And that was exactly what Russia planned to do. Wonderland tapped one of Russia's hands lightly with her tiny, pointer finger. She gave him an exceptionally warm smile before speaking,

"Can I borrow one of you needles?" the well-dressed female inquired. Russia nodded from beneath his scarf, tugging one of the silver poles free from its grip on the gold fabric he was using and extending it towards his friend.

"You'll give it back, da?" he grinned his signature closed eye grin back at Wonderland. She crept off the table slowly, trying not to make too much noise as she snuck over to Britain. France's hand shot out as she passed but was silenced by a quick jab of the needle. Wonderland very much disliked the pervert, or as he pronounced it, lover, which had to be the only common ground she shared with her brother. She continued making her way to Britain, acting as close to a spy as she possibly could. And then, in one rather anticlimactic disappointment, Wonderland abandoned her original plan of acting secretive and sneaky and began stabbing her heavy browed sibling in the arm.

"Britain, Britain, Britain, Britain, Britain, Britain!" Wonderland prodded the man sharply. Britain's eye twitched, his face turning an amazingly vibrant shade of scarlet. He wanted to throttle his sister at this point. In fact, even at the risk of sounding like America, he wanted to beat her with a folding chair. She was nothing but a troublesome annoyance to him, always screeching about something that didn't matter or running up walls or floating down rivers, which wasn't even possible in the first place though she found a way to do it, or just plain ruining Britain's day with her incessant babbling. Or doing that retched thing where she let out a screech and punched him in the thigh for no reason. And yet the worst part about Wonderland was none of those things. The worst part was that she was female which meant Britain couldn't stab her in the chest no matter how much he longed to. But, in order to try and gain a bit more respect from the other countries, he tugged the teensy bit of tolerance left in his soul and ignored her. Which sat none too well with the endlessly childish Wonderland. She knit her brows together in distaste. To be completely honest, their dislike of one another was rather mutual. Wonderland wanted to be the little sister of a fun, exciting country, or at least one with better food to add insult to injury, yet she received Britain. And there was no way he'd ignore her.

"BRITAIN." she howled, bringing the knitting needle down with far more force than she'd hoped to. Britain let out of screech of agony. He whipped his arm around sharply, looking at the huge chunk of metal now lodged in his flesh. Had Wonderland stabbed him? Had his own sister honestly stabbed him? The fury he'd been holding in for the past few moments began to envelop him as Wonderland's expression became one of panic and concern. She floundered around next to him in hopes of removing the enormous pin, whimpering in an odd manner. France put a hand to his mouth before bursting into a rampant snigger. The other countries, excluding a peacefully napping Canada and an innocent looking Russia, joined in cackling over Britain's pain. Even the still unconscious America seemed to recognize the sound of his brother's screams, prompting him to also take part in the mean-spirited hilarity. Of course, in his mind, Britain was being feverishly assisted by a certain imaginary flying mint bunny.

"WHY THE BLOODY HELL WOULD YOU STAB ME?" he snarled, letting out a second little screech as Wonderland ripped the needle from his skin. She began to feel extremely guilty about injuring her brother when a steady stream of blood came gushing forwards. Her face began to pale, all color draining from her cheeks. Russia's smile faded a bit as he watched tremors wreck his friend's spine. She obviously resented the sight of such a fluid for some reason he couldn't quite understand. Wonderland apologized quickly, looking down at her feet as she spoke in an apprehensive tone. But Britain had already lost his temper. He didn't have any time to stop himself as his fingers formed into a fist and went barreling towards the nervous Wonderland. She flinched, holding both hands in front of her mousy face to form an X of sorts. Yet the impact never came. Wonderland opened a teary, sapphire eye, sniffling slightly as if she were about to burst into mortified sobs. It wasn't so much that she felt bad about hurting her brother; it was more how the sight of blood made her feel. And she knew if she let herself cry, things would only go downhill, so she stiffened her upper lip and allowed her arms to fall to her sides.

"You're all right, da?" Russia's sweetest, and blood thirstiest, smile illuminated his face. He'd sandwiched himself between Britain and Wonderland, holding the still cocked fist of his British 'ally' in the palm of his hand. All the others stared on in fear as crushing grip of a secretly furious Soviet man squeezed Britain's fingers together forcefully. Russia had just made his first, actual friend and nothing was going to hurt her. Because maybe, if he made sure that nobody stood between him and Wonderland and kept her protected with all his might, he wouldn't be so alone anymore.

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><p><em><strong>Yay~ I finally got my shit together and ended the hiatus on this story, hopefully you people are still enjoying it! Sorry if this had a high degree of suckitude, I'm just making sure people still want to read before making longer, better chapters. Also I apologize if Wonderland and Russia are a bit OOC, I just haven't written with them in a while! Leave some reviews, da? You don't want a permanent hiatus, do you?Thanks for reading!<strong>_

**_-ZK_**


	8. Chapter 8

Wonderland looked horrified. She stared on in terror as Russia clutched the hand of her older brother securely. He was smiling ear to ear, chuckling silently beneath his enormous coat. His relaxed demeanor made the experience all the worse for the other countries. France was so scared he nearly stopped fantasizing about Wonderland. But he was France so the second he managed to dive under the conference table he resumed his dirty thoughts. Wonderland opened her mouth gravely, as if she were about to deliver soul crushing news.

"Russia you..." she trailed off, looking absolutely torn to shreds. The man immediately released Britain when the realization of his actions set in. He wondered if perhaps he'd taken it too far, he would have been crushed if Wonderland was mad at him. But this was not the case. Immediately, her face sprung into excitement and joy. She clamped her hand into a fist and held it against her heart,

"You saved my life!"

"I did good?" Russia inquired, determined to make sure Wonderland wasn't upset. She started jumping up and down, clapping excitedly. Having been separated from human interaction from a young age, he still wasn't quite sure if Wonderland was happy or sad about the current situation. But then, something amazing happened. The mousy female held her arms out and wrapped them around Russia's torso. His violet eyes widened considerably. Why was she attacking him? He had just thought they were becoming friends and now she was trying to kill him? He welled up with tears, his entrails shifting uncomfortably. Wonderland looked up at him and grinned. She grabbed his arms and wrapped them around herself before resuming the hug. Russia paused for a moment. Perhaps this wasn't an attack, no, it couldn't be. It felt too nice, almost like when his yak used to lick his cheek.

"You're a hero!" Wonderland cried.

"Did somebody say hero?" apparently, all it took to revive America was someone saying the word hero within earshot. He jumped into action immediately, completely forgetting the massive bruise on his chest and his mild concussion. Wonderland and Russia's embrace was cut off instantly. The female jumped back, pointing a deadly finger at America as her eyes broadened.

"Undead zombie beast!" she howled.

"Ghost from another dimension!" America roared, matching the intensity with little effort. They pointed at each other viciously for over two minutes. Nobody had any hint of an idea of what to do. Russia was too happy to move after receiving his very first hug from his very first bestest friend, Britain was still catching his breath, France was tapping into his beneath the table wine cellar, Canada was miraculously still napping, and China was hiding out under the conference desk in order to avoid getting Wonderland's blood on his new Hello Kitty designs. So basically everyone was either busy or not giving a shit. Britain, being the gentleman he was, decided to intervene.

"America, this is your older sister, Wonderland. She's not a dimensional ghost. Wonderland, this is your younger brother, America. He's not an undead zombie beast." the thickly browed male returned to fixing his arm and fingers after the two had been introduced. Much to Russia's dismay, America and Wonderland became bestest friends faster than any two people ever had. Music began playing inexplicably from some radio in the background and, for a split second, everyone was transported to a field of yellow flowers. The duo of brother and sister locked hands and spun around like idiots while everyone else tried to get their bearings. Britain had been placed on top of a rock which he fell off of in time to bruise his shoulder and his shin. The fantasy moment ended abruptly and everything returned back to normal.

"Badass! I've always wanted a sister! Iggy never wants to have any fun because he's too busy sucking dick but you're awesome! You look so cool! Can I try on your hat? What's your place like? Can I come over?" America began acting like a frenzied little boy with ADHD once again.

"I don't have a home!" Wonderland cheered. America looked shocked.

"You can totally stay with me forever, dude!" he offered, caring about homeless people for the very first time.

"Oh! Oh! That would be so much fun! But, I'm staying with Russia until I remember what happened to me! Russia's my bestest friend, you know him, right?" she chimed. This caused the single greatest reaction in America's life. Everyone was used to the man having over-the-top answers to things, including manic facial expressions and bursting cascades of curse words, but this seemed a bit out there even by American standards. He sort of... Melted, for lack of a better term. America seemed to lose all bone and muscle structure right then and there before he plopped down on the floor like a wet sack. It may have looked stupid, even though America was no stranger to looking like an idiot, but it was the proper way to respond to your little sister having a life anywhere near Russia. Wonderland seemed endlessly confused. She had no idea why people kept reacting so poorly when they discovered she was staying with her bestest friend. Her theory revolved around people thinking that she was having a sexual relationship with the Soviet, an image that would not sit well in anyone's head. Except for France. He had been giving endless thought to relations with the mousy female ever since he and China made a mad dash for the utopia under the conference table. The two of them were honestly beginning to wonder why no one had taken refuge there before. It was spacious, comfy, and it had a full supply of rare French wines.

"Oh no, is America dead again?" Russia frowned. He leant down and jabbed the soggy mess of flesh and hyper-activity. Nothing happened.

"Meeting adjourned." Britain stifled a hysteric laugh as he spoke. China poked his head out from under the table and nodded. He shoved a very tipsy and very aroused France into the outside world and shook Canada awake. As the host country, it was his job to forcibly remove everyone from the room. And that was exactly what the ponytail wearing man did. Expertly, he scooped a steaming pile of America into a plastic bag and threw it out the door with a smile.

"Goodbye! Thank you for coming, aru!" China waved. He slammed the barrier shut as fast as he could before diving back under his wondrous conference table. Outside, the other countries bid each a fond farewell. France attempted to grope Wonderland, Russia punched France in the balls, Britain started laughing so hard he kicked America in the face, and America remained a lump of foreign goo. All in all, it was a decently normal parting for the Allied Forces. Wonderland went skipping down the hallway next to Russia, an enormous smile on both of their faces.

Of course, the female was thirty times happier than normal due to the promise of the Baltics being at Russia's home that night. Apparently, Poland had demanded Lithuania bring him some sort of fancy desert and because Lithuania wasn't quite sure which country he was more afraid of, he had followed the orders of his best friend. Normally, this would equate to a brutal punishment from Russia but he would be far too busy with his new bestest friend to care. And he had to keep the Baltics in good condition for Wonderland.

XxXxXxXxXx

Wonderland rubbed her eyes groggily as she stepped off Russia's plane. It hadn't been a very long flight, but she grew tired when she wasn't doing something exciting. So, of course, that meant she had to jump out of the plane. Instead of cautiously heading down the stairwell, Wonderland made an executive decision to jump into a snow bank a few feet away. And, being the idiot she was, she didn't expect anything to happen to her. In fact, she'd decided that a friendly group of snow gnomes would hop out just in time to save her if anything bad was going to occur. She still hadn't quite grasped a sense of reality yet, partly because of the massive concussion and partly because of the insane world she'd lived in. Wonderland hopped up onto the handrail in a rather agile manner for someone like her and took the leap of faith. Just in time for the man walking behind her to see the display of blatant madness.

Russia went dashing down the steps so quickly he nearly made it to the ground before her. However, he was too late. He'd been so busy worrying about what would happen when word got out to other countries that it had taken him a moment to get his bearings. Wonderland lifted her face out of the snow she'd belly-flopped into victoriously. Russia relaxed instantly. He furrowed his brow for a moment in recollection of the past few seconds. Why did he care for Wonderland's safety? Even with people he'd considered friends before, he had never worried about them getting hurt. Yet here he was teetering between life and death after watching this female fall into the snow. He knew everything about the frozen water that rained from the sky, and he knew a jump from that height into snow would hardly even scratch you. So why had he been scared? Even using the word scared concerned him! He wasn't afraid of anything. Except, obviously, Wonderland getting hurt. Perhaps he liked her more than a normal friend. And then the answer became apparent.

Russia liked Wonderland more than a normal friend because they were bestest friends! That seemed like a totally rational and sane thought to have.

"Are you all okay?" he smiled.

"Definitely!" she flashed him a shining thumbs up. Covered in blood. She paused,

"Not! Ha, I guess I got cut by the snow gnomes. Oh well!" because everyone knew snow gnomes existed. Especially Iceland whose entire population would easily agree that such creatures existed. Wonderland wiped her hands off on her dress, smearing the crisp white with streaks of crimson. She jumped out of the woman sized hole now lying in the snowdrift but quickly went slamming down onto the floor when her knees buckled beneath her. The female wrinkled her nose distastefully. Her joints had been given quite a severe lashing by the snow gnomes. They had even broken through her stockings! Before she could formulate a devious war plan to gain sweet revenge, Russia had plucked her off the ground. He wrapped one arm around the crook of her knees and the other around her slender shoulders.

"I'll carry you." he said, definitely, nodding at the serious situation. Wonderland let out a bubbly giggle at his determination. It ended with a cutesy snort and Russia suddenly felt his stomach drop a tiny bit.

"I'm fine! I'd much rather be on my feet if the snow gnomes get testy." she knew how dangerous the gnomes could be if angered. It was absolutely imperative she was fully functional if an ambush occurred. No one fought gnomes like Caroline Lewis did. Russia reluctantly placed her back onto the ground. To be honest, he had become quite fond of holding Wonderland but if she wanted to walk on her own he wouldn't protest.

"I can clean them inside, da?" he would, however, make sure she was safe from infection. The mousy girl returned his worries with the same overly caffeinated smile she always wore. Wonderland pulled Jabberwock out of absolutely nowhere and placed him on her shoulder. Russia had absolutely no idea how he had come into care of this insane woman, but at the same time he found it very hard to be upset in her presence. They were bestest friends after all, and that was a term you couldn't find anywhere in the Wikipedia page about friendship. Which meant either Wonderland had made it up and they were mortal enemies, or they were two times what normal friends happened to be. For the sake of his fragile psyche, Russia decided to go with the latter thought.

Wonderland cheered like a drunken sailor at a football game when Latvia opened the front door just as she and Russia arrived. The female could hardly maintain her excitement as she looked the three trembling boys up and down. In the middle was a young man with glasses and teal eyes. He was the tallest of the group and had a sleek but horrified face. Even, butter colored bangs cut across his forehead perfectly and shook lightly as he quaked. He was dressed in the military uniform of his country like the other Baltics, but his was a pristine olive green and he seemed to have more pockets on his jacket than the others did on their entire outfits. Wonderland had already begun clapping but the discovery of this new, and rather attractive, man caused her cheers to become erratic and manic.

She switched her focus to the man on the right. He was roughly an inch shorter than the male in the middle but he looked to be the oldest. His shoulder length brunette mane made Wonderland question his gender for a split second but she quickly realized he wasn't pretty enough to be a girl. Whether this was cruel or complimentary, no one could tell. The man cleared his bangs from his bright blue eyes before returning to his most important task, shaking with fear. That left the boy hiding off in the background, a tiny child about ten inches shorter than any of his friends. His hair, which curled up slightly at the tips, was of a sweet sandy color. On a scale of one to Parkinson's, this young boy seemed to be in need of serious medical attention. He looked as if he were having a continuous seizure. His sapphire eyes darted from right to left so quickly Wonderland became horrified that the snow gnomes were on their way to attack. But she happened to be a bit preoccupied by how adorable the youngest of the Baltic trio was. His red uniform had shoulder pads with little golden tassels that made the woman absolutely mad with pure joy.

"Lithuania, Estonia, Latvia, my trembling Baltic Sea States!" Russia sang. He tapped the men's heads from right to left, doing more heavy punching than he was gentle tapping. Wonderland's eyes grew seven sizes larger, she nearly had a seizure right then and there.

"His name's Latvia? He's so goddamn cute!" in one fell swoop the female had plucked a petrified Latvia off the ground and placed him in her lap. For her size, she really was quite strong. She absolutely smothered him in a frenzy of kisses and hugs. Wonderland was at a loss, wondering how in the world someone could be so adorable. Latvia, however, nearly died of shock right then and there. The other Baltics tried not to die of jealousy as they watched their least favorite member get coddled and cosseted by a stranger. After realizing that Wonderland was actually genuinely nice, the tiny Latvian wound his hands about her waist and snuggled up to her in sheer bliss. She stroked his hair with a grin, not caring at all that she was covering it in blood. A trembling finger tapped her on the shoulder.

"I'm Estonia..." the man with more pockets than anyone had ever seen pointed the same shaking appendage at his head.

"I-I'm Lithuania..." Estonia's girlish looking friend poked himself in the chest. They were both hoping dearly to be cuddled like Latvia. It would be nice to be liked by someone for a change. All they had now was Russia, a man who didn't even enjoy them in the first place. Well, Latvia did have Sealand but nobody wanted to talk about that. Lithuania was the only one with a real friend but Poland consistently got him into trouble and never listened to him. Wonderland trapped the three of them in an enormous group hug before they could say anything else. The Baltics all cooed with pleasure, it felt good to be loved.

"Oh, you're hurt... We should clean you up." Lithuania said, seeing the large bloody handprint left after the embrace.

"Russia! Can the Baltics help me clean up? Please, please, please!" Wonderland begged. She had grown instantly fond of the three men and they had grown instantly fond of her. Especially Latvia who was still in somebody-loves-me shock and probably wouldn't recover for a solid day and a half. His current state involved slight levitation and small pink hearts floating over his head. Wonderland stared up at a very jealous Russia with her enormous please-give-me-what-I-want eyes. He couldn't resist. Anything that made her happy made him happy, a phenomenon that hadn't occurred in years.

"Da, you can play with my Baltics." he smiled the signature closed eye smile that struck fear into the hearts of the Trembling Trio. The three men shot up past the fountain as quickly as possible, excited but also extremely worried for their well-being. Wonderland paused, her hands clapped together happily.

"Don't worry, Russia gets a hug too!" she pulled both arms around his waist, forcing a pinkish blush into the man's round cheeks.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: **_

_**I AM SO SORRY. I got totally keelhauled at school during the last few weeks and then it was nonstop vacation! I went to Europe (the dirty Hetalia jokes were in fact plentiful also never go to France ever it would be totally righteous but the French are there) and then like everywhere else in the entire world and this is literally the first time I've opened my computer in MONTHS. But anyway~ I finally ended that damn meeting, started some sibling love, and introduced the adorable Baltics! FINALLY. This probabaly should have been a bit fluffier at points, but oh well it is what it is I'm exhausted so please don't flame! The next chapter will involve way more plot after the Baltics fix Wonderland up and all. Also, the big huge romance question begins here. I'm having second thoughts on her and Canada in later chapters. I'm beginning to think Germany(You'll see why soon not to mention he totally does not get enough love) and then that makes me think just fuck it i'll let you guys tell me. So leave your thoughts in a review, PM me, send me a lovely handwritten sentiment, whatever you gotta do! And then eventually I'll post up a poll and get the full results from there. Thanks so much for reading~**_

_**-ZK**_


	9. Chapter 9

"Please, you have to get out while you still can." Wonderland cocked her head to the side. She gave Lithuania an extremely long and awkward stare. He returned it, trembling so heavily Wonderland debated whether or not she should stuff a wallet in his mouth to keep him from biting his own tongue off. Estonia and Latvia were busy dressing her wounds with bits of old, musty gauze and little adhesive pads that soaked up her blood but they managed to chime into the conversation.

"I'd very much advise you to leave this place." Estonia whispered, trying to keep his voice down in case the fearful Mister Russia was closer than he thought.

"If you don't leave Russia is going to kill you and wear your skin like a fancy cape!" Latvia latched himself onto Wonderland's waistcoat and exploded into a howling improv speech about the horrible things Mister Russia would do to her if she didn't get out of his house immediately. But halfway through the Latvian started crying and everything sort of turned into a mix of gibberish, tears, and a surprising amount of snot for such a little boy. Wonderland wasn't quite sure how to deal with this information. One half of her head said that she should seriously consider what possible threat her new friend was bringing into her life while the other half of was fascinated by a fluorescent blue pony standing in the corner that nobody else could see.

And the other other half of her consciousness, because Wonderland was the only existing human who could split her consciousness into three halves, was singing a song about the West Indian river manatee. It became quite apparent which half she should listen to after a good moment of thought. So it was thus decided that the pony of neon cerulean should be dubbed Maplehoof Guardian of Syrups and Serums.

And so he was. Wonderland nodded with satisfaction, having completely checked out of the room where so much was happening. For someone who held such a high position in her own country, she had a nasty habit of running away from any problems that presented themselves. Her way of dealing with things was to run away from them. Well, at least it was now. Wonderland quickly went back to thinking about Maplehoof, focusing all three halves of her brain on the glistening horse.

"But Russia's my bestest friend..." Wonderland responded after Latvia had finished bawling. She gave his head a few soft pats before throwing herself onto her feet. Much like her soon-to-be-diabetic brother, she threw a finger in the air and let out a roar of pride,

"And you never betray your bestest friend!"

"You're friends with Mr. Russia?" the Trembling Trio proclaimed this at the top of their lungs and in perfect unison. How could anyone be friends with such a cruel, unforgiving, evil man? The groups reactions to this news differed. Latvia found himself bawling so profusely that Wonderland's dress was sopping wet within about a minute, Estonia produced a large metal pipe from beneath the sink, cracked the nearest window open, and climbed to freedom, and Lithuania made the tragic mistake of calling his only friend.

Poland.

The worst person anyone could ever call during a worrisome situation. He was like totally like surprised that like anyone could like be bestest friends with like that terrifying like Russia guy and not him. This only sparked about a thousand more problems for everyone. Now Poland was like totally furious that his Lithy had found a righteous new country and hadn't told him about her like immediately. Meanwhile, as Lithuania was being feverishly bitched out for trying to take the new country himself, Wonderland was focusing all her energy on thinking the driest thoughts she could.

"Er... Ergonomic sheet cleaning lectures! Ah... Not dry enough... Er, um... Day long seminars on the ethics of paint drying! Damn! No... Uh... Oh! Oh! I got it! Week long camps held in deserts that discuss only geometric theorems and principles!" Wonderland roared. By this time, the quite lovely bathroom at Russia's house was no better than a meeting held by the Allied Forces. With Wonderland screeching her most boring thoughts, Latvia crying so hard that his tiny body was beginning to shrivel up from dehydration, Lithuania trying to convince his friend that there was no possible way he could have told anyone about Wonderland any sooner, and Estonia limping out of a bush a few feet below. And, let's not forget, that somewhere far, far away a young man with the silkiest blonde hair anyone ever did see was trying to convince his friend-slave to bring him the country that had recently arrived. This made for an awful lot of chaos. And a few strange sexual remarks from Poland.

"Lithy, like, come awn! You like totally have to bring her over or I'll invoke some like serious bad mojo like all over you!" Poland whined. Lithuania shuddered. Why had he ever thought calling that idiot was a good idea? Maybe because he thought that idiot could provide some good advice. Maybe because he was a bit more optimistic than his situation permitted him to be. Because now there was absolutely no possible way he could get away with not bringing Wonderland over.

Especially not if Poland was going to invoke bad mojo like all over him. Which pretty much meant that he'd pretty much have to find some way to get Wonderland over to Poland's house, hope desperately that they didn't become instant best friends, show her around a bit, and then smuggle her back into Russia's mansion before anyone even noticed she was missing. Lithuania let out a short whimper of protest to what he was about to do. He cupped one hand over the receiving end of the phone and looked at Wonderland nervously.

"Uh... Wonderland, how would you like to go meet a friend of mine?" Lithuania swallowed heavily.

"Really?! I wanna meet all your friends Lithuania! But I dunno if I can because Russia was gonna let me watch that awesome magic box with all the colors and sounds and words I don't understand!" she cheered, rocketing upwards so quickly Lithuania nearly fell off the counter he'd perched himself atop. Latvia, who sensed the sudden shift in position, pulled his tiny body onto wonderland's back so he wouldn't be disturbed as he poured a few more gallons of fluid out his eyes. Lithuania could not say he was thrilled by that news. He had hoped she would deny him entirely and blow him off for Russia, but that didn't seem to be the case.

"I'm sure Mr. Russia will be fine if you come home a bit late." Lithuania lied.

"If you say so, I'll trust anyone with beautiful hair like yours!" Wonderland grinned cheerily, clapping her hands together again.

"Then just follow me." Lithuania said, trying to hide the tears forming in his eyes as he imagined just what punishment he might receive. He went back to the phone he was holding to give Poland the news. Not like it was actual news, however, Poland new he got just about everything he wanted from his little Lithy.

"We're on our way..."

"Righteous! Peace in the Middle East, Lithy!" Poland slammed the phone back on the receiver and went back to painting his nails a lovely neon pink. Lithuania sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. It was going to take him some time to come to terms with this level of personal sabotage. After a good few second of thinking about just where his life was going, he locked the bathroom door, threw himself out the shattered window, and landed with a crunch on the snowy ground. Wonderland followed eagerly with a loud proclamation of geronimo and a young child strapped to her back. However, instead of landing harshly in a pile of ice and snow, she touched down on something fleshy, bony, and extremely loud.

"Oh, hey Estonia! Lithuania and I are going to someone's house, you should come!" Wonderland sniggered, jumping off her incapacitated acquaintance and running after Lithuania with a mortified Latvia still latched to her back. This would certainly be a day to be spoken of.


End file.
